German Joys

Hungover Owls

A gallery of them here. My favorite:

My Ashes Got 10,000 Page Views Last Month

It's the E-Tomb, the "More Emotional Form of Tomb":

via.

German Joys - Immer ein Bisschen Voraus

Always a little ahead of the curve, that is. German Joys leads, other news sources follow. Item:

• Way back in 2007, GJ noted the absurdity of Germans being forced to pay 20 times as much for aspirin as the residents of most other advanced industrialized nations. What do I see on the front page of my Zeit newspaper this morning? The headline: "Why do Germans pay so much for Aspirin?" (g). Welcome aboard, Herr di Lorenzo (finally).... As for me, I always bring back from the States a 500-tablet bottle of aspirin, which costs the equivalent of 2 Euro.
• Last year, GJ was bemused over the fact that there is actually a tree called the "Caucasian Wingnut." Many months later, Talking Points Memo has discovered this fun fact. You're welcome, Mr. Marshall....

Commenting Bug Fixed - Mea Maxima Culpa

I apologize to everyone for the mind-breakingly annoying bug that vaporized everyone's comments during the past few days. I was trying to reduce comment spam, and I inadvertently created a filter that blocked all comments that had a space in them. Sounlessyoupostedlikethis, your comment was mysteriously 'disappeared' without so much as a thank-you-ma'am (h/t to Klaus for alerting me to this).

That must have been in-fucking-furiating. I know there's probably been a lot of pent-up rage, so feel free to vent it in, er, comments.

Advanced Blog Demography

Here's the latest from the boys over at our research division, German Joys Analytics:

German Joys Blog Hiatus

(inside cover of Staney Donwoods' Catacombs of Terror - Source)

Let me get straight to the point. I have to submit a manuscript by the end of this month. Progress has been OK so far, but needs to get faster. Therefore, I hereby officially announce that there will be a German Joys Blog Hiatus for about 6 weeks or so. I may post something occasionally, but it won't be very detailed or illuminating.

Thanks for your understanding, and see you again in 6 weeks or so. And if you want to know what the inside cover of my book will look like, just follow the jump.

I'm a Millionaire!

According to Typepad's internal ticker (and no, I don't really care how accurate it is), the millionth blog visitor dropped by at 8:34 AM, European time. Sure, plenty of blogs get a million hits a day, not a million hits in five years. But still, it's something, isn't it?

I'll be celebrating this milestone with lots of fascinating new special features the same old shit. Look for a new Max Goldt translation in the coming days, and a review of To My Great Chagrin: The Unbelievable Story of Brother Theodore. But don't wait for the review: Theodore fans and Theodore-curious people out there, order this fascinating documentary today! Finally, I've met a lot of German Wire fans who are having trouble with the slang and legal terms in the series. Since I am sort of a lawyer and used to represent the kind of people who show up in the Wire, I thought I'd put together a short glossary to help foreigners derive the full benefit of this Balzacian exploration of American urban decay.

Well, that's all for now. Y'all come back now, ya hear?

Congratulations! You're the 1,000,000th Visitor to this Blog!

Right now, this blog stands at 999,589 lifetime page-view. This means that at approximately 10:34 p.m. today, while I'm watching an episode of The Wire (3rd season), some lucky ducky will, according to Typepad, become exactly the one-millionth (1,000,000th) visitor to this weblog.

That lucky person will receive an extra-large tube of Hammel's Patented Firming and Lifting Trouser Cream! (ba-da-ba-boom).*

* Certain restrictions may apply. Offer not valid in Mecklenburg-Vorpommern.

Rate My Rants!

Just for fun, I've installed the outbrain post-rating widget on this blog, so that you can instantly rate my meaningless nattering!

Feel free to rate this post, you scrofulous shirtlifters. That is, if you can still move your onanism-palsied palps.

I wish each of you a nightmarish and despair-racked Fourth of July.

Update: The very first rating came from someone in New Zealand who gave a 1-star raspberry to the post Heintje Turns 50. That's the spirit!

The Pillars of Society

The FAZ has a blog written by "Don Alphonso" called "The Pillars of Society," which is apparently composed of the musings of a proud representative of the old-money German elite. I don't know exactly why, but I find it delightful.

The latest entry, a jolly history of the Jesuits in Ingolstadt, can be read here (g). Among the more famous sons of Ingolstadt is Dr. Johannes Eck, a doughty counter-Reformer whose book-length attack on Lutheranism was, ironically enough, dedicated to Henry VIII.