German Joys

Monday Music Blogging: Hora Lunga

Movement 1 ('Hora Lunga') of Ligeti's refulgent sonata for solo viola, played by Tabea Zimmermann:

Miles Davis Meets Nancy Reagan, Sparks Fly

Like so many musical innovators, Miles Davis was a blackguard. He consumed galaxies of narcotics, inflicted bizarre mood swings on anyone near him, issued completely contradictory orders to his bandmates, treated women like objects (thereby gaining the devotion of dozens of them, of course) and took shit from no-one, as this gem from the Guardian shows:

Davis was a man of few words. When he did speak, his words often had a similar effect to a hand grenade being lobbed into the room. In 1987, he was invited to a White House dinner by Ronald Reagan. Few of the guests appeared to know who he was. During dinner, Nancy Reagan turned to him and asked what he'd done with his life to merit an invitation. Straight-faced, Davis replied: "Well, I've changed the course of music five or six times. What have you done except fuck the president?"

You have to imagine him saying this in his trademark guttural growl. For more on this reprehensible genius, the Mike Dibb documentary from 2001 is first-rate.

Cautiously Sipping the Apple Kool-Aid

Last weekend, when the weather was almost surreally gorgeous (cool and sunny), I spent a day bicycling around the city and hanging out in various parks. During that time, I stupidly lost my mobile tunes setup, a Sansa Clip+ mp3 player and Klipsch Image S4 headphones. They're probably still lying there somewhere in the Düsseldorf Südpark, unless a magpie has already incorporated them into its nest.

To replace my mobile soundgear, I stuck with Klipsch, but decided to upgrade to the X10i in-ear headphones, which have an integrated remote control that only works with Apple stuff. So far, the sound quality, while predictably outstanding, is hardly distinguishable from the much-cheaper S4 headphones, but I haven't worn in my new ones. In general, though, Klipsch in-ears are head and shoulders above any others I've tried. Rich bass, beautifully distinguished mid-range, and crisp treble. But it's all pointless if the headphones aren't comfortable. Klipsch are specially designed to have an ear-friendly oval shape, and ship with a set of fully interchangeable ear-inserts in various shapes and sizes. You can easily switch until you find inserts that fit your ear. If you're just starting out, get the S4s. They deliver audiophile sound quality for 1/3 the price of the competition, and will probably be the only in-ears you'll ever need.

Now to my first-ever Apple product, an Ipod Nano. It gets rave reviews, looks beautiful, sounds beautiful, and isn't that much more expensive than the competition. Plus, it integrates with the remote control on the headphones cord, which is a huge plus. And, in fact, the Nano is a beautiful thing. Tiny, square, with a clear, bright screen, the famously intuitive controls, a solid clip, and excellent sound quality. But I have to say one thing: The fact that you must use iTunes to communicate with the Nano instantly claws back all of the user-friendliness. The no-frills Sansa Clip was so much easier: it showed up as a normal storage device, and you could just drag and drop audiobooks or music to the relevant folders, and the machine would automatically treat them accordingly. You have to spend hours navigating the hideous bloatware that is iTunes before you can reliably make sure you've put everything where you want it on the Nano. Nothing about iTunes works as you would expect it to, and workarounds to common problems are baffling and complex. Plus, you can only really manage the Nano with one computer. If you hook it up to another computer, the iTunes program on that machine huffily threatens to erase your Nano!

So, when it comes to the Nano itself, I have cautiously sipped the Apple Kool-Aid, and found it delicious. But when it comes to iTunes, I have spewed the Kool-Aid across the wall in a deadly crimson arc.

Heino's Hideous Handicap

Rumors have circulated about Heino, the German pop star whom Lonely Planet once immortally dubbed a 'tranquilized albino Ken doll', for many a year. The reason? He is never seen in public without dark sunglasses. Some say it's because his eyes are an eerie reddish rat-eye color, or because he's abnormally photosensitive, or because he's German. But I believe this album cover, found at a blog post called Worst Album Covers of All Time, has solved the mystery:

Heino, the albino baker's apprentice turned German Schlager legend, has strabismus, also known as heterotropia! Now personally, I can't see why this should have driven the man to don dark glasses. I happen to find strabismus extremely attractive in women (please lift the restraining order, Condi! I've learned my lesson!). But I suppose EMI Germany's crack mid-70s market research gurus soon concluded that Heino was just a bit too Marty Feldmanian to inspire swooning fits among the frumpy Hausfraus who remain his target audience. By the way, the single is called "Dear Mother...A Bouquet that Never Wilts." I'm not sure whether he's giving his mother this or comparing her to one, but either way, I should call my mother.

One other thing. Why is it that posts that promise you the "Worst Album Covers of All Time" routinely include some of the best album covers of all time? Case in point:

The Map We've All Been Waiting For

Metal bands per 100,000 people.

Via

German Joys Review: Canton Chrono 509 Loudspeakers

 
My trusty 12-year-old Paradigm loudspeakers finally began showing their age, so I went shopping for some new speakers, and finally settled on a pair of Canton Chrono 509s. What convinced me was Canton's solid reputation, and the unanimity of the 5-star reviews on German Amazon (g). These speakers have delighted both punters and pros. Plus, the price has been cut in half (g) since Canton brought out newer series. They were getting ratings of 'oustanding' price/performance ration even when they used to cost over €1000, and now you can get them for under €400. An unbelievable bargain.

I've now had them for a week, and am absolutely delighted. The bass is rich and detailed, the highs crystal-clear, and the mid-ranges and tweeters handle Renaissance choral music (a big part of my collection) with aplomb, which is often a challenge for other speakers. The soundstage is magnificent -- I'm listening to Bernstein's recording of Mahler's 4th right now (my second-favorite after Tennstedt's magnificently joyous, spontaneous, albeit slightly messy version), and the horns are beautifully detailed, the strings mellifluous and glowing, and the climaxes smooth and swelling. The sleigh bells are so vivid and localized that you can almost reach out and touch them. Jazz and guitar-based pop also sounds quite good, although the Canton's give you a more well-rounded, slightly subdued sound than the aggressive, ripping tone you might get from more rock-oriented loudspeakers. House and drum & bass are just stunning: the mid-ranges and treble sounds float with millimeter-precise spatial placement over a magnificantly bulbous, tumescent bass that retains a clear tonal profile even as it rocks your world.

I also bought a Canton AS 85.2 subwoofer -- the first subwoofer I've ever bought -- which is also doing yeoman service. However, the bass is quite rich even without it -- the subwoofer just makes it bone-shaking. I probably didn't really need the subwoofer, but it is nice to have.

As for appearance, they're pretty much standard big black oblongs, but still relatively unobtrusive and extremely solidly-built and stable.

German precision engineering at its finest!

Monday Music Blogging: 'Francisco' by Brian Eno

Over the weekend, my shuffle play spewed out this track from the album 'The Shutov Assembly'. Mesmerizing and other-worldly, especially the recurring low-frequency wobble that sounds like a muffled scream.

A Monk's Advice

From Lists of Note, some advice from Thelonious Monk:

T.MONK'S ADVICE (1960)

JUST BECAUSE YOU’RE NOT A DRUMMER, DOESN’T MEAN YOU DON’T HAVE TO KEEP TIME.

PAT YOUR FOOT & SING THE MELODY IN YOUR HEAD, WHEN YOU PLAY.

STOP PLAYING ALL THOSE WEIRD NOTES (THAT BULLSHIT), PLAY THE MELODY!

MAKE THE DRUMMER SOUND GOOD.

DISCRIMINATION IS IMPORTANT.

YOU’VE GOT TO DIG IT TO DIG IT, YOU DIG?

ALL REET!

ALWAYS KNOW... (MONK)

IT MUST BE ALWAYS NIGHT, OTHERWISE THEY WOULDN’T NEED THE LIGHTS.

LET’S LIFT THE BAND STAND!!

I WANT TO AVOID THE HECKLERS.

DON’T PLAY THE PIANO PART, I’M PLAYING THAT. DON’T LISTEN TO ME. I’M SUPPOSED TO BE ACCOMPANYING YOU!

THE INSIDE OF THE TUNE (THE BRIDGE) IS THE PART THAT MAKES THE OUTSIDE SOUND GOOD.

DON’T PLAY EVERYTHING (OR EVERY TIME); LET SOME THINGS GO BY. SOME MUSIC JUST IMAGINED. WHAT YOU DON’T PLAY CAN BE MORE IMPORTANT THAT WHAT YOU DO.

ALWAYS LEAVE THEM WANTING MORE.

A NOTE CAN BE SMALL AS A PIN OR AS BIG AS THE WORLD, IT DEPENDS ON YOUR IMAGINATION.

STAY IN SHAPE! SOMETIMES A MUSICIAN WAITS FOR A GIG, & WHEN IT COMES, HE’S OUT OF SHAPE & CAN’T MAKE IT.

WHEN YOU’RE SWINGING, SWING SOME MORE!

(WHAT SHOULD WE WEAR TONIGHT? SHARP AS POSSIBLE!)

DON’T SOUND ANYBODY FOR A GIG, JUST BE ON THE SCENE. THESE PIECES WERE WRITTEN SO AS TO HAVE SOMETHING TO PLAY, & TO GET CATS INTERESTED ENOUGH TO COME TO REHEARSAL.

YOU’VE GOT IT! IF YOU DON’T WANT TO PLAY, TELL A JOKE OR DANCE, BUT IN ANY CASE, YOU GOT IT! (TO A DRUMMER WHO DIDN’T WANT TO SOLO).

WHATEVER YOU THINK CAN’T BE DONE, SOMEBODY WILL COME ALONG & DO IT. A GENIUS IS THE ONE MOST LIKE HIMSELF.

THEY TRIED TO GET ME TO HATE WHITE PEOPLE, BUT SOMEONE WOULD ALWAYS COME ALONG & SPOIL IT.

Semmisítsd meg! Pusztíts! Most!

I have a feeling Black Flag would sound even punker in Hungarian. But until Henry Rollins obliges us, we'll just have to make do with having the lyrics translated into Hungarian.

 

Black Flag - My War / Magyar Felirattal!

Köszönet a fordításért: Csimpy

Dalszöveg:

Az én háborúm!
Te egy vagy közülük!
Azt mondod a barátom vagy,
de egy vagy közülük!
Nem akarsz engem élve látni
Nem akarod, hogy adjak
Mert egy vagy közülük

Az én háborúm!
Te egy vagy közülük!
Azt mondod a barátom vagy
De egy vagy közülük!
Egy vagy közülük!

Azt mondod a barátom vagy
De egy vagy közülük!
Nem tudhatom, mi egy barát
Minden amit tudok az az,
hogy te nem vagy az.
Mert te egy vagy közülük

Az én háborúm!
Te egy vagy közülük!
Azt mondod a barátom vagy
De egy vagy közülük!

Van egy jövendölésem
Az agyamban él
Velem van minden nap
Őrületbe kerget
A szívemben érzem
Ha lenne egy fegyverem
A szívemben érzem
Meg akarok ölni valamit
A szívemben érzem
Ölni
Ölni

Egy vagy közülük!
Azt mondod a barátom vagy
De egy vagy közülük!
Mondd meg ha tévednék
Próbáld énekelni nekem az egó-dalod
Egy vagy közülük

Az én háborúm!
Egy vagy közülük!
Azt mondod a barátom vagy
De egy vagy közülük!
Közülük!
Mi van? Mid van?
Csináld! Csináld!
Pusztíts!
Semmisítsd meg!
Majd alkoss
Pusztíts!
Semmisítsd meg!
Pusztíts!
Most!

The Re-Education of Patron X

My vicarious outrage has been placated by the person who will now be known to history as Patron X:

The man, called Patron X by the Philharmonic, said he was a lifelong classical music lover and 20-year subscriber to the orchestra who was friendly with several of its members. He said he himself was often irked by coughs, badly timed applause — and cellphone rings. “Then God, there was I. Holy smokes,” he said.

“It was just awful to have any role in something like that, that is so disturbing and disrespectful not only to the conductor but to all the musicians and not least to the audience, which was so into this concert,” he said by telephone.

“I hope the people at that performance and members of the orchestra can certainly forgive me for this whole event. I apologize to the whole audience.”

Patron X said he received a call from an orchestra official the day after the concert. He had been identified by his front-row seat. The official politely asked him not to do it again, he said, and the man took the opportunity to ask to speak to Mr. Gilbert, to apologize in person.

The men talked by telephone (it was a land line) on Thursday afternoon. Mr. Gilbert said he told Patron X, “I’m really sorry you had to go through this,” and accepted his apology.

...

Actually, Patron X said he had no idea he was the culprit. He said his company replaced his BlackBerry with an iPhone the day before the concert. He said he made sure to turn it off before the concert, not realizing that the alarm clock had accidentally been set and would sound even if the phone was in silent mode.

Still, all cellphones should be jammed during classical concerts. If you might need to get an allegedly super-important call during the concert, then don't go.