People had been intermittently advising me to watch the American sitcom Arrested Development over the past few years, but I somehow never found the time. Until, that is, I found out that the show feature a character with an umlaut in his name, namely: Dr. Tobias Fünke.
Why was this not brought to my attention earlier?
Fünke, it turns out, is one of the greatest American comedic creations since Ignatius Reilly. Trained both as an analyst and therapist (Business card: "Analrapist"), Fünke has ditched psychotherapy and is trying break into the acting business.
His attempts to do so are hampered by many horrible problems. First, his last name, which, as he constantly has to remind people who call him "funky", is pronounced FYOON-kay. Second, his utter lack of charisma and hair. And finally, his complex, multi-faceted, poorly repressed LGBTsexuality, which drives him to generate endless streams of unintentional homosexualistical doubles-entendres (see above). It has also put a strain on his relationship with his wife, Lindsey, in whom he shows no erotic interest behind the scenes, despite bragging in public about how, while he's making "sweet love on her", the "clatter of her breasts" is positively deafening.
Fünke is also proud of his German heritage. We see this, first and foremost, in his near-constant wearing of socks-and-sandals combos, often sogar with white socks. He also proudly claims to share a psychological disorder with two members of the German Parliament. Finally, he repeatedly utters the German word for "shower gel," Duschgel, at various moments during the show:
Or is it douche chill?