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Remigius-Ekkehard Scores!


Look at the German men in those photographs. Erect, athletic, courteous, stylishly-dressed, sexually chaste* and happy. They surely bore, with pride, real Teutonic names like Wolfram, Ekkehard, Adalbert, Friedhelm, Karlheinz, Ulf-Wotan, or Eike-Siegfried. Names that evoke crystalline mountain lakes, Wergeld, jousting tournaments, roving bards, sacred groves, and unmixed ancestry.

Yesterday the German men's national soccer team won the World Cup. But what sort of names did these "'Germans'" have? Per and Philipp are just barely acceptable, but Toni? Kevin? Mario? Sami? Manuel?


Did we lose a war, people?!

(picture here)


* This 1925 poster, from the collection of the German Hygiene Museum (!), reads: "Strive to remain chaste! The best way to do so is bodily exercise! Sports and games, swimming and hiking -- along with serious work, these make it easy to remain sexually continent. Continence is not harmful."

Speak for yourself, German Hygiene Council.

UPDATE: I bet these guys had Real German Names®:




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Junger Gott

While the poster affirms that continence is not harmful, it's courious it doesn't even attempt to give any reason why it's a good thing and the first place and should be observed. You know, in spite of its obvious disadvantages in the whole fun in life department


Per and Philipp are just barely acceptable, but Toni? Kevin? Mario? Sami? Manuel?

You didn't even mention Mesut, Jerome and Miroslav.


hm? what's the problem with "Manuel"?


Maybe this makes up for the names:

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