This Camera is a Hasselbladass

A finalist for Best Amazon Review Ever has to be this one, for the $30,000 Hasselblad Hx4 digital camera. It starts with the fact that Goldman Sachs was giving away $30,000 cameras as party gifts, and then gets even stranger:

I am a landscaper and I work mostly in Bel Air. One of my clients neighbors sold me this camera, which he'd received as party gift at a Goldman Sachs function. I told him I couldn't afford it, but he said, "take it home, try it out before you say that."

Well, I did and he was right, the pictures are absolutely amazing. In many respects they are MORE, not less, realistic than the subjects.

I have no complaints whatsoever on that score - or not exactly on that score. There were a number of images left on the camera, either by the neighbor of my client, or whoever may have had it before him. I can't be too specific, there are all kinds of people who use this web site, children, those from here and there all types in short, and I've no wish to offend. I'll just say the images were of an erotic nature, and graphic, my God, on account of the subject matter, and the quality of this amazing camera, these picture were very, very disturbing. I had to be hospitalized in fact - only for four days, but I was unable to return to work for almost six weeks. I'm paying $700.00 a month now to the client's neighbor for the camera, even though the police have it as evidence, and will keep it until the Goldman Sachs dudes and the others involved come up for trial. It's been an hellish ordeal, but I can't wait to get that camera back - digitally wiped, the police have assured me, of those unforgettable atrocious images. The bulldog was put to sleep.

What can you say about a camera that beats reality at its own game? A camera that can send you to the hospital?

But why did the bulldog have to die? Was it the camera again?

Comments

[Justin]

$30,000?? For a digital camera? I won't give even a half of this sum for this camera. It is too much. Even if it is filled with the best features ever, i won't fall for it.

[M. Möhling]

> BTW: Tim's comment is not a real one but spam
I take the readership of this blog to be among the best and brightest, so I'm not surprised that we pass the turing test. Yes, Tim's not a Tim but a bot.

[M. Möhling]

No arrests or reports so far. However, the story certainly taps our deepest sentiments. What's anti-capitalism good for if you can't nurse some grudges feelings. G(F)WW: Ressentiment. I understand from another review that NASA uses the camera on the Hubble Space Telescope, or so he says. The reviewer remarks, though, that it's lacking "a quantum tunneling sub-system for short range photonic teleportation". Maybe that's what the Goldman story is lacking, too, so let's see how this pans out. Se non è vero, è ben trovato.[1]

Incidentally, I feel the gouvernement should be spanked much harder than the bankers for bailing them out. Without these guys knowing that it would happen eventually, they might well have acted less greedily, as they're no fools. Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac had been coaxed and not so gently prodded for decades to lend to those who couldn't afford to repay. Bill Clinton knew,[2] the Bushes knew it, too, but what's a couple of billions if it gets you some votes. Bill thought that giving handouts to the, um, underprivileged would make him popular, and it likely did, while the last of the Bushes thought that new homeowners would vote republican eventually, so he made the same. Don't know how that worked out. But Goldman & friends heard the signals, lent the occasional helping hand, and learned that you can grow too big to fail.

Anyway, the gouvernment's name is not Goldman, so it doesn't lend itself for red hot wholesome fun. When it's middle name is Barrack, it's sheepskin happens to be black, when tempsoc is its game, and ours, too (or rather permsoc), we tend to tread lightly. Heck, we rooted for our nation's redeemer. Happens that he redeemed the banks first, as big government needs big banks--our souls, not so much. Black redeemers of white souls--they don't make 'em anymore like they used to. That's stuff white people like not so much. Poor things. GWW: dumm gelaufen.

1. That said, a neighbour once asked me to erase her notebook's hardrive professionally, as she had found child pornography on it. The notebook was her former boyfriend's, who had given it to her as token for some debts, before he left for Thailand(!) without leaving an address. He's now being searched by the police, so far to no avail. So yes, crazy things do happen.
2. To his credit, he read Charles Murray and ended "welfare as we know it" elsewhere, sending the numbers of welfare moms to a historic low. Incidentally, without causing a famine.

[Kunar]

Do you know the series of reviews for the Wenger Swiss officer knife?

http://www.amazon.de/Wenger-Schweizer-Offiziersmesser-Messer-Schatulle/dp/B000R0JDSI

Not all are funny, but some are.

[Fabian]

Thanks to you, too - that was a great find. Some other similarly priced cameras have similar reviews, but that one had by far the most and funniest ones.

BTW: Tim's comment is not a real one but spam.

[Tim]

Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often

[Andrew]

And so they are! Thanks for the tip, Fabian.

[Fabian]

The other customer reviews are very funny, too.