Let's Wipe that Smirk off Iceland's Face

First they rob decent Englishmen of billions of pounds. Then they outlaw topless dancing. Now, their unpronounceable volcano has brought European air traffic to a screeching halt. You can't miss the menacing undertone in the Icelandic Prime Minister Jóhanna Sigurðardóttir's recent statement:

Sigurðardóttir held a video press conference today from the Prime Minister's underground bunker near Njörllnökullirtyllüükillinnottäer. Stroking her Siamese cat with a leather-clad hand, the head of state announced: "We very much regret the inconvenience caused to European governments by the deployment of our, er, 'volcano'. We are in constant contact with European leaders, and are confident that they understand the very ...reasonable... steps that need to be taken to return travel to normal." Sigurðardóttir then emitted a high-pitched laugh.

This ludicrously tiny, treeless island is certainly punching above its weight -- right into Europe's kidneys. Again and again.

How long are we going to let these -dottirs and -ssons push us around? It's time to take action. Germany will be responsible for organizing the invasion (relevant experience). Sweden will then stage a topless parade through the streets of Reykjavik (relevant experience). This will get the covering, sniveling, superfluous Icelandic 'men' (if you can still call them that) on our side. Then we'll organize a bucket brigade to douse the volcano. Needless to say, the bankers will be stationed closest to the volcano, followed by the legislators who voted for the topless-bar ban. We should have everything back to normal in days.

Then we can deal with the looming menace of the Faroe Islands.

Comments

[joanna]

I think this could be my fav post ever.

[noribori]

What's "unpronounceable" with Ejaculalla?
Don't be coy!

[Hepkat]

"unpronounceable volcano" - simply priceless!