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Gardening with Genitals: Turgid, Seed-filled, and...Ripening

Remind you of something?

With their customary frankness, the Germans see no need to beat around the bush (so to speak), when it comes to the human naughty bits.* Thus we find Germany's biggest teen magazine, Bravo, hosting a feature called 'Every Vulva is Different!' (g)** on its website. Yes, there's even a 'Vulva Gallery'. Hours of fun for vulva fans!

Yea, this frankness extends even unto their vegetable gardens. Certain garden plants are somewhat suggestive in appearance, and the Germans call 'em like they see 'em. Thus, in this frilly lemon-scented gardening website called Gabi's Summer-Meadow (g), we see explicit descriptions -- and even shocking photographs -- of such things as the "condom chili", which is described as "a juicy[!], spicy fruit, very interesting [!!], ripens from green to orange-red." This is quickly followed by the "Black Penis-pepper" (pictured), which is described as a "black-purple[!], spicy fruit[!!], which ripens from green to black-purple to orange to red."

Ouch!

* In case you're curious, I have been completely Teutonized in this respect -- and not just because I like looking at vulvas! After a predictable transition period of Anglo-Saxon squeamishness, I find the non-fussy, practical attitude Germans have about the human body healthy and refreshing. Americans, by contrast, treat genitals like mighty deities who will strike them dead if they're called by their real name. A strange land in which millions of apparent adults flush and squirm at the most glancing reference to the realities of sex, yet the most lavish perversions flourish. And, of course, are punishable by stiff prison sentences.

** Upon reading this, I immediately began composing a little ditty in my head called: 'Every Vulva's Different', to be sung to the tune of 'Every Sperm is Sacred'. I've even got a great idea for a video. Oh yes, indeed I do!

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