My TV Pick for Tonight
European Beer: A Tradition of Heritage

Attention Splatterdeathcore Fanzz: von Trier is BACK!!

Yep, that's right, Danish bad boy Lars 'Dogmaslayer' von Trier's latest spine-shattering splatterfest, aptly titled Antichrist, hits cinemas soon. Antichrist starts Charlotte Gainsbourg, French fanzine-fave gore-grrrl last seen in Brainsaw Beauties IV and Marseilles Morgue Molester. Willem Dafoe plays the male lead. Good to see Dafoe back in action after his 4-year absence from the screen, which industry insiders said was the result of a mental breakdown he suffered on the set of psychotic Toshio Ishikawa's mind-breaking 2002 epic Extremely Violent Mentally Ill Man Who is Burning with Desire for Revenge and is Not Under Control, which was banned everywhere except Romania but swept the 2003 Zombies.

The plot of Antichrist involves a married couple whose small boy dies in a mysterious, gory accident at the beginning of the film, which somehow sets off a white-knuckle orgy of perverted violence. But really, who cares about the plot? Everyone's holding their breath waiting for the classic von Trier climax, which, this time, involves rusty garden tools. We won't give anything away, but we will note that von Trier, in an interview given to Splatter magazine, said 'The last scene blows away everything I've done up until now, and makes Violent Shit look like a fuckin' Sunday school play!' He then added, 'I am the best film director in the world!'

What-ever, Larsy. But your latest sounds, well, Trier-fying!